The Nae Train.
It’s me, Nae! The train thing is supposed to be a metaphor for my train of thoughts. Ha! Witty or just sad?… Cliché? For sure. Overdone? Certainly. Anyways, if you’re incredibly bored you’re welcome to read my musings. Some will be personal, some spiritual, some reviews of Marvel movies probably. Godspeed and enjoy I guess.
Guidelines, Requests, Maybe a Joke or Two
cute fun boundary stuff!
July 13
A year ago today, I reached an inflection point in my life story.
La Redención: My Dreaming
This excerpt is taken from a speech I gave at Storytelling Night for the Make Good Fellowship in July 2021.
Fully Known and Fully Loved
And while the full truth of this symbiosis is beyond comprehension, it is almost more difficult to let it be so rather than trying to unwind it all.
On Recovery
If we are to commit to recovery wholeheartedly, it means letting go of the promise that the only thing that feels like ours is within our control. It means making the vulnerability we sought so desperately to hide be our superhero capes, leaving behind the lie we needed to believe, that we didn’t deserve caring.…
Stories of Humans, God, and Andrew Garfield
When it doesn’t feel like there is much good in the world anymore, I hope we realize that connecting with one another through experience, even painful experience, is genuinely good.
Misconceptions of Modern Medicine: The Grey’s Theory
Disease is complex and ever-evolving, as are we. I implore you: don’t let someone else’s desire to ensnare clicks, undermine authority, or promote false ideals for their own glorification interrupt the sacred nature of your health and the people to whom you entrust it.
Fighting Uphill
How do I separate the love and goodness I learned while creating art with my body from the suffering of breaking it down? Do I strive for achievement because that is something I love at my core, or is it what I still feel like I need to be safe and loved? Why is it…
What Have I Become
We are socialized to see art covering scars as beautiful and scars covering art as barbaric. TW: self-harm, NSSI, SI.
I Was 25 When I Learned I Was Once Diagnosed with Autism
It has been a strenuous last couple of weeks, to say the least. In these times, it is important for me to employ certain tools to stay as emotionally regulated as possible. Keeping a structured schedule is important, as is minimizing stimuli in my environment and focusing deliberately on normal rituals of eating and self-care.…
stranger // say you won’t let go
a love letter to the memories that anchor us in our pain & the story of the heartbreak I survived that makes the rest seem bearable
cinderella’s dead
The suffering is real, but it is nothing compared to the goodness that is ahead for those of us who dare to tread beyond survival.
the container
What is my container? From which bounds am I making my great exodus?
butterfly kisses from ghosts
I wondered, as I kissed someone new, whether I really thought it was over until now…
when I wake up, I’m afraid
somebody else might end up being me
I was a victim too
reflection on Luckiest Girl Alive
my onion
the timeline and rationale for hating me
love is melancholia: musings
My love is wandering an abyss unknowable to me. I try to manufacture one replica after another to ease the sick of loss but every iteration is mutated by the grief of having touched heaven and seeing the scars it left.
unforgettable (?)
I could have learned to love her enough for the both of us, but I could never have loved you enough to make you stay. And I grieve the people we were when we both would have cared.
I let go
It started with a crinkle in my nose and a stillness in my throat. Were they finally coming, the tears? It’s been so long since they carried my grief away. I need them to take it now. I am ready for release. The first puddle formed along my lash line and I smiled. Yes, I…
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The Nae Train 